Amazing Technology and Bewildering Processes

A friend once told me to be prepared to be disappointed in a purchase of goods or service 50% of the time. I thought he was just being surly. What does this mean?

Our e-book series on CD with the good labeling.

Our new e-book series on CD product is ready, so I needed a Lightscribe(TM) drive to create the labeling. I’d borrowed a friend’s laptop to create the first few discs, and the labeling from his drive was perfect. I was able to take the promotional photos and start advertising. I couldn’t keep using his drive, and needed one of my own to produce our discs.

I bought a brand-name external drive from a well-known technology online retailer I’ll call “Company”, thinking that the brand-name drive would be of good quality especially with all of the positive reviews I’d read about it. I also purchased the same brand-name writable media. The order arrived quickly and in good condition. However, the drive produced Lightscribe(TM) labeling of streaky, banded quality. Arghh! I definitely will not sell our CD product with that inferior labeling.

So I attempted to use the Company website which indicated that I should request a Return Authorization following their online process, but the form would not let me proceed. So I called their customer support to request an RA#, and received one. (The fellow on the phone said that they no longer allowed the request online, and couldn’t answer why the process was indicated on their website as the preferred method.)
So, the UPS label was sent straight away to my email, and the fellow on the phone said it contained the RA#, and to pack and return the item.
I packed up and shipped off the offending drive.

Then the next day, I received another email that said I must print a form, sign it, include the RA# and it must be included in the returned package. Okay. So I printed, signed and sent it to the warehouse, hoping they can match up the already-sent package with the form.

Then the next day, I receive an email saying my RA# has been approved and that I can send the package for return. WTF? I believe they have the notification process completely backward. So, I’m disappointed in the product, and then disappointed once again in the process.

I’m not angry or even frustrated, just bewildered. Is it just that my expectations are too high?
If the processes that you deal with on a daily basis go at least moderately well, you should be pleased.

I’ll eventually forge ahead into the internet-shopping wilderness again. Stay tuned for our new product progress.

Lexophilia

This list has some old and some new, but all are bad which is what a pun is supposed to be.

Lexophiles (Lovers of Words) 1. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it is two tired. 2. A will is a dead giveaway. 3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. 4. A backward poet writes inverse. 5. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion. 6. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. 7. The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered. 8. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it. 9. He broke into song because he couldn’t find the key. 10. A calendar’s days are numbered. 11. A boiled egg is hard to beat. 12. He had a photographic memory which was never developed. 13. The short fortuneteller who escaped from prison: a small medium at large. 14. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. 15. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall. 16. If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine . 17. When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she’d dye. 18. Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses. 19. Acupuncture: a jab well done. 20. Marathon runners with bad shoes suffer the agony of de feet. 21. The roundest knight at king Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. 22. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 23. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still. 24. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 25. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery. 26. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 27. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. 28. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it. 29. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 30. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. 31. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’ 32. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said ‘No change yet.’ 33. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 34. Don’t join dangerous cults: practice safe sects.

What a Great Beta Test

Larry Fitzpatrick of L&M Website Design did a fantastic job beta testing my e-book series CD. I could not have asked for a more intelligent, thorough test. And my CD is not yet ready, as I need to implement the corrections that his testing found. Thank you, Larry.

I Have a Volunteer

I have a beta tester volunteer. Many thanks to the owner of L&M Website Design.  I’ll let you know, dear readers, when the software and design of “The MacMaster Chronicles” CD passes muster.

CD Jewelcase cover

E-book Beta Tester Needed

CD Jewelcase cover

I’m creating a CD containing the entire e-book series “The MacMaster Chronicles” by Jason Lord Case. It’s a terrific action-adventure assassin series. But wait, e-books on CD, you say, doesn’t that defeat the e-book purpose? Why no. The CD is so you can give someone an entire book series that they can load on whatever reading device they choose. Think of a gift, wrapped and given, that your friend can open with glee.

The CD will have Kindle (.prc) and iPad/Nook/et al. (.epub) file types. Those types are applicable to almost all devices, and/or apps to open them.

I need a beta tester for the CD – Someone who will look at each file to check for correct opening and function. You must have software or hardware for both .prc and .epub file types as well as check the EULA and ReadMe files.
Please email me at info@redpetalpress.com if you are interested, at which time we can discuss details. There’s no pay except for the book series, a line item for your resumé, and some publicity on Red Petal Press’ social media sites.
Thanks in advance, dear readers.

Interconnectedness

A couple of years ago I took up wood carving as a hobby; don’t really know why, just wanted to see if I could do it. I find I love it. I can spend hours shaping and shaving and sanding wood. The hearts to the left are one of the less ambitious projects, another “can I do it” that turned out to be an excellent lesson in math (trust me on this, if you ever try to carve interconnected parts, it’s based on math). At the moment I’m in love with carving Celtic knots, patterns with no beginning and no end.

Trees are all around us; they provide shade, food, wood and oxygen and I find them remarkably beautiful and endlessly fascinating, things of utility and beauty too often taken for granted.

And books, of course, are objects of desire. I’m talking “old school”, the paper, the binding, inks and typesets, and covers cloth and leather, embossed and gilded. And oh the ideas they contain, the prose and poetry, the hideous, bizarre, beautiful, stirring are the stuff of life. Okay, e-books fall into the last “ideas…stuff of life” category but the ones and zeroes aren’t nearly as romantic to me.

In my mind I see each of these fascinations as being in harmony with each other, interconnected by the physical and emotional sustenance.

Bookcraft Business Wishes

Marketing and selling is my company’s weakness. I’m simply not very good at it. Bookselling is by far the most difficult aspect of the publishing business. Book editing, designing and proofing are, for me, the most fun. And I don’t have the discipline at the moment to knuckle down and develop a more sophisicated marketing strategy and execution plan beyond the goals I had set for myself and have met.

My tiny company is receiving many inquiries from young people about employment, and I must turn them away because my business is so slow, because of the failings mentioned above.

What I wish I could do is to gather all of these young people together with their disparate visions and needs, and brainstorm how we could make each other successful.
For example, how can we as independent authors and publishers combine our audiences and talents to expose our wares to other markets, online and brick-and-mortar, to sell our goods and hone our crafts?

A myriad of discussion groups exist, more than any could attend to. But, I wish for one in which each member agrees to use his or her strengths for the common good. I need someone to read our works and post reviews and recommendations. I’m sure some one else needs design or editing suggestions, or proofreading. Is there someone who enjoys going to local bookstores to promote local works? A co-op approach to the book craft, a division of labor for the success of all.

Suggestions, anyone?